Are you afraid 
Are you hurt 
Where are you 

Stop throwing sand 
Into the corners 
Of my eyes 

You know it 
We won’t win
We all do 

The lost blood 
Should remind us 
We’ve been here 

Gas and fire 
A broken hope 
Tunnels, more guns 

Will cause vengeance 
More hardened voices 
The rising youth 

Memories of this 
Wedge into mind 
And hard wire

To mask it 
Justify the cause 
You crouch down 

With your fingers 
Held firm together 
To gather gold 

Death in hand 
Your only goal 
To mask it

Sand sand sand 
Up, away, down 
Clouding the sky 

You can try 
To distract us 
Blind our courage 

You will not 
It must stop 
It will end

Can’t save time,
only spend it.
Your currency; care.

Eye mask
so I wouldn’t wake 
when the light came.

Water 
on the side  
clear jug.

I arrive   
home 
somewhere new.

Misplaced   
on the way here 
until, when I arrived 
there was no one 

The thought 
of nodding 
giving
‘good morning’

I enter, 
green mowed grass 
swings and
goalposts 

A square
open
today
empty 

Bliss.
I’ll walk 
it  
slow
 

The clenched fist rarely pays  
somehow 
it knows
to loosen 

Petals, the yellow type 
like their sun, round 
pale and gold 
lift

like fingers  
release, now open
to feel 
touch

soak 
then pour
through hard shafts
their green blood

Arrival
Into June
a soft month 
to be

You used to fly them 
on a string  
you gave to the wind 

I’d watch you 
Dad
chopping up clouds 

You’d let me  
under your arms 
to hold on

Something 
would grow 
fastened to you 

When we moved here 
mum told be about these 
big birds, Red kites  

Moon eyes 
earth brown wings  
triangle tails 

There are loads   
overhead 
looking down  

I loved that kite
cause I knew
you loved it too 

Maybe there was something 
for you 
at the end of that string 

That these Red kites 
in the sky 
see too 

I am it
open
my heart gives 
as the warm air 
rises, a climb
beyond
bodies 
to joy
I am spirit  

Notes
strings 
open then close 
galvanising 
flesh on the bone 
to jolt
jiggle 
feverish happiness 
alive 
in me    

Colours 
are colours 
I have met 
in a dream
only once 
a taste 
so sweet 
everlasting 
now 
etched 

Love doesn’t say much 
days roll 
evenings patient with us.
We are vulnerable 
that is enough.

I heat half the bbq  
salad and cheese and hot tea 
the cold is held back
early summer, new air 
we breathe.

Give me only this.
Never strip 
this stillness
for as long as we sit 
I dance

You jump up 
to be held,
excited 
now settled.

I worry 
when you get sick.
It’s not like I can ask 
if today is any better.

I take my time 
looking into you.
We can’t hold eye contact.
Don’t have to.

‘It can’t be comfortable’,
I say.
But boney knees 
are rest.

‘What do you want’,
I ask.
Then you turn
and I know it’s ok.

Like a penny down a well 
clanging
until the noise stops 
it’s value lost
to the pit 

Anxiety 
is in no way gradual
pages unfold
faster than a hand 
can hold 

Hope
lost
to a fleshy belly 
feeding
from inside

My hands are black with hope 
from living in the earth.
Soil sunk into my rinkles 
of skin and mind 

Memories. I am young 
we are making cake
hands full of flour, sweet sugar 
A separate chocolate bowl for me 

Not much has changed really.
Still resist it.
Too slow to do what I should
too fast to quit when I shouldn’t 

Leave me here
holding on 
like we used to.
I remember