I am marinated by 
Whispers from a God
I can only hear 
Upon the crushing of hope 
And breaking truths 

A meat vehicle 
Your flesh to enact 
A vision I do not see 
Cannot see without 
Your echoing sound 

What am I 
My skin is split 
To obey  
Come what may 
Come my way 

Where does this spiralling soul 
Meet it’s end 
I beg you to 
Tell me or I’ll 
Cast off 

Break from your steer 
Be free of your fist 
I will outlast 
I will
Run 

To what? 
To you? 
To the life you made?
To the ideals I now must now define?
To the emptiness?

I am meat 
Your vehicle 
Whether I choose to or not 
I am  
Yours

From the gallows she bubbles 
Creatures and features
Of the mutty water 
God only knows 
How such pleasure 
Erupts from her wickedness

Beneath the surface 
Sacrifices are made 
To feed her trunk 
The gerth that needs filling 
Night or day 
Hope or pray 

Carcus and thinning skin 
Rot, green and brown 
Float down 
To a bellowing end 
The inevitability of fate 
Her system of governance 

On and on
Turning dark into drink 
That spawns her 
It repeats 
Taking life 
Giving life

For upon her reluctant out stretched arms, Bluetits rest
Toads hide in her darkened pockets 
Herons perch on her weary head 
And Spiders crawl on her bulging base 
All this 
Her sacrifice 

A heart does rest 
Beneath layers of crumpled leafs 
But it remains asleep and forgotten 
For her dark rhythmn 
And deathly cycle 
Is all she’ll ever know 

The colour of pain 
Blood
Red and black spilt 
Upon naked canvas 

No 
The days of suffering
Do not touch me 
Here  

My flesh is clean  
It rests 
In minds and memories 
Plagued 

I do not seep from skin 
Nor does an aching heart 
Pierce blue from 
A chest 

This pain lives in spirit 
When it bleeds 
It leaves no residue 
No evidence 

No colour 
Only knowledge 
That it was there 
Once 

Only a witness 
Who felt it 
Come and
Go  

S and W 
Bookend a no 
And keep it from 
Escaping 

Winter is falling  
Upon hills forgotten 
Now transformed  
Ramps of my dreams 

Ben returns  
To this moment 
For his feast 
For he has been starved 

Puffing as I play  
With giddy feelings 
Banished 
From a serious life 

The thickening snow 
Disguises  
My uncontrolled 
Explosion 

I just look mad 
And overgrown 
Free 
Running 

I’ve grown so far away
From this 
The boy who ran and played
Till fingers fell numb 

So I’ll wait  
Till the light fades
And pretend 
For a little longer 

Don’t leave  
My glimpse  
Of a younger time 
In the glistening white

May I rest here
And soak in your breath 
Down to warm my
Inside  
 
May I rest my hand 
Into your clutch 
And let my heart flutter
Tonight 

May I rest now 
In this sheltered place 
Of red and glass 
And heat

May I rest in peace 
Where this all began 
Take me back to that 
Winter light

I can hear the clock ticking 
Under these cotton sheets 
I am warm 
As the storm arrives 

The ticking darts in and out 
Like a fairy 
And as it builds
It deafens 

Echoing around my mind 
Like the swirling winds 
That bellow 
From outside 

But inside 
I am taken over
By a clock intent 
On rattling me 

It is crazing me out 
This fucking crick crack noise 
I’m at my end
Striking out  

Then calm 
Submerged in the sound 
Somehow the anger collapses it 
And sounds pass over my head 

Like a passing boat 
To the fish swimming beneath 
The sounds muffle 
In endless space 

A peace
After all that 
I am present 
Under these warm sheets

Slipping through my fingers like butter 
Down onto the crystal dish 
Friends  
My chance of a civilised life 

Why do I forget 
To love proactively 
Why are relationships like these  
Such a test of heart 

I withhold my need for others 
I cradle me 
Without care to cradle those 
I could befriend 

To die bereft of friendship
To have walked this earth alone 
Is to have experienced man’s modernity 
My unnecessary way 

What i’d do 
To break free of my compulsion 
To love  
To give

Lucid 
Tripping tracks in my mind 

Misty
Breaking down outside 

Solemn
At the end of the high 

Weakened
Under lonely sky 

Sore
In between my toes 

Rotting 
Out these bones 

Waiting 
For the night to come 

Hit 
By the piercing sun 

Trapped
In this aging cave 

Fear
Fleshly laid 

Arrived 
I’m here to hit 

Rush 
My life is lit 

Birds 
To fly up there 

Soaring 
Fresh night air 

Wishing 
I could go somewhere

It’s in my eyes 
I blink faster to wake 
I drift in and out
Of the two worlds I know 

One of truths bent 
Mysteries I uncover in the night 
Where a representation fools me
Into thinking I can 

This place is lighter 
Harder to reach
And rarely do I go there for long 
Or out of choice 

It’s hard to know why I do  
Escape perhaps 
Or the cauldron where my thoughts rest 
Before meeting their reality 

This second place 
Is my waking place 
I am woken by it 
And it’s serious fumes 

There is no denying it’s importance 
As my eyes blink the gravity sets in
My skin rests harder 
On the bed where I sleep 

The haze has gone now 
Eyes peeled head cleared 
I have returned back from my travels 
And the mist of my morning mind 

You cut my every morsel
Grip and pull it downwards 
My earlobes hang like lead 
When you visit 
Germs 

I’m not your safe space you know 
The place to go when it gets cold
I’m a person in here 
But you play your game 
Rip rip - then you laugh at me 

I don’t know if you know this 
But when you come 
I would swap everything in the world 
For you to leave
Me

That probably ignites another of your cackles doesn’t it
That rattles
In my vertebrae 
As this chest 
Weakens 

I want to say I’ll win 
Kick you 
But I am succumbing
To your 
Serum