So why is it That this life is best lived Out of context I pull at the threads And they unravel In my ageing hands What if I had known My self In this The echoing truth That Humms it’s tone Next to my ear The hidden truth Found in plain sight That I’ve missed If only id known Being this was ok If only I’d known Only this was ok Would I have felt This chewing My empty Would I look back With no regret And smile
I retch acid Sharp tastes from the night before that My toothbrush with bristles hard as brush Can’t scratch from this soured breath Two fingers flick my throat Unlocking a channel for liquid flow The putrid stench falls As my mind clears Drink My blessing and curse Bewitches an aching body With spells of pretend confidence For those hours I dazzle My paws ooze life Until they don’t And it’s sweat 2am, again Outside where no one can hear My body produces lemon vomit The moon my only witness
A stretch These marks on my hips Slits of blood Valleys of red They stretch My capacity for work Is beyond the limit I stretch This love For more and for depth Is stretching and killing What’s left My tank Depleting it’s load Until it’s dry And then …
Ballooning green leaves rush From the fingertips of nature’s hands Like fists piercing the earth A passage between earth and sky A poplar blows side to side Like a nervous child in the school line Skinny and taller than most She listens with her patient eye That hornbeam bully Who snatches your lunch Is fatter, no wiser Even if it hurts Sweet chestnut you don’t know who I am Or who I’ll become So I’ll love you from a distance And that’s ok My leaves will still tremble on hollow twigs But like a true Birch I will find my journey to the sky And leave this earth
Food Not ideal Grown in the ground Bred on land Let me eat light That is what plants do With their arms out wide Like a junkies injection They skip meals To eat light Maybe somewhere out there In the Andromeda Maybe they are dancing Eating Light Crazed species Energised life forms High on light No middleman No supply chain No hurt Eating Light He Says Eating Mini Cheddars
Longing For when We took that walk through private land Got in trouble with farmer man Mischief Longing For what Scooters from school and toast at home Racing bikes with Harry in tow Time Longing For her Purple hair and battered coats Fountain pens and written notes Mum Longing For it Im bigger now and older too Important stuff for me to do _
Down that narrow london street Music from the clouds pierce through a workman’s vans Showering light vibrations into my ears Transporting me to you We can’t see it but we feel it Classical songs from the ages that suck us in And spit us out That hurt us and heal us He loved this music Whenever I dropped in To the house 10 degrees too hot for humans He’d be sitting there, listening As if a message was tangled in those notes Just for him Suspended in mid air That only he could hear Now the dusty street spits its truth Transported for one fleeting moment I’m landed back on both feet Better finish this cig
I can hear her Singing to the radio in the autumn kitchen The tap roars on and off Dishes clang As my mind wanders Sat under a blanket I turn off my own music to hear hers I let my heart check it’s own pulse At once, I’m in both rooms Clinging to this moment before it slips
I am the tool from an early age Twice the size of a human hand An archeulean mystery that carves and cuts I am a cats tongue The Greeks called me a Thunderstone A lightening bold dispatched from Zeus How romantic How untrue Pear shaped or ovate Edges sharper than a barbers blade My maker could not stomach me My ferocity lost in soft hands I was never used to good effect Yes, humans made me named me But they could not tame me The first tool of humanity Trial and error A failure Yet I was not the last Stone gifts from the Oldowan Flakes of rock on a brute hand axe A hammer to land a heavy hit A knife to cut flesh Human energy channelled Human tooling born And now you rely on glass and silicon A thunderbolt from the clouds … These modern cat tongues Don’t cut above the skin Their edges are deeper Handle with care
A peacock may be flashy and LSD bright Her glow will turn your mind to wonderful sins Soft feathers bouncing in an oversized gay Flamboyant for all to envy When I gaze at her it makes me sick So far removed from efficiency and clarity Natural selection has not found its truth She has withstood the fair hand of nature Our logic has mistakenly granted a wide birth Why not a finch of delicate touch That bird of subtly, carved in reality Must I endure Oh this selfish beast Beauty is her trap and I her victim No more I say Your inefficiency is my deepest regret
